On Not Giving Up

I teach a remedial math class during third block.  At the beginning of the year I had a class of about 18 students with various levels of math needs.  Some had barely passed their end of year testing the previous year, and some weren't even close.  And there was one particular student who was driving me crazy.  He spent most of the class period looking out the window or bothering other kids or generally doing nothing.  We were only two weeks into the school year and I dreaded getting to third period and dealing with this kid.

A week or two later the other math people and I decided to rearrange these classes.  The thought was that if we could put the students with similar needs into the same class for this one period we could more effectively help them (by more specifically tailoring our instruction).

To be very honest I was excited for more reason than one.
1) Hopefully for at least one class period a day, some of the kids wouldn't feel like the biggest idiot* in the class.  Everyone needs to feel some level of success.
2) Maybe in the rearranging my class wouldn't have the pain in the butt, get nothing done, mouthy kid in it.  I know that's a horrible thing to say, but it's true.

I'm sure you see this coming.  We rearrange, and homeboy is still in my class.

And this kid has had highs and lows throughout the year, but he's become one of my most favorite students.  Is he still easily distracted? Yes.  Does he usually raise his hand? No.  Do I often find him out of his seat looking out the window?  I sure do.

But the things he's accomplished in math are amazing.  He participates every day.  He tries extremely hard to truly understand the material.  Last Friday we were doing an online assessment/game and he redid it three times until he had a perfect score.

Tons of the credit for that goes to his regular math teacher.  But I like to think that some tiny portion of it is because even though he was driving me nuts, I never gave up on this kid. Every day I went to class and tried to help him in whatever way I possibly could.  I encouraged and I helped and I tried to build him up.

I don't say any of this to toot my own horn.  You see, it's been an extremely difficult several weeks with my students for various reasons.  I've had quite a few parent/teacher/student conferences and all kinds of other craziness going on.  But on no day have I given up on any of these kids.  So when someone asks me if I'm relieved that I'll have a day off from so-and-so because they're suspended, the answer is maybe a tiny bit yes, but mostly I'm sad and wondering how I can help them make better choices when they return.  Every single day is a new one.  And when some kids continue to make poor choices or are flippant and disrespectful, I try to remember this one, and how he turned it around in no small part because a few teachers believed in him.  And then I try again tomorrow.




*I'm in no way saying any of these kids are idiots.  They're not.  But that's the way you start to feel when everyone (or almost everyone) gets something and you have no idea what you're doing...and then you shut down completely.

This Isn't Just About the New Black Hermione

Guys I'm having a lot of opinions and I'm trying hard not to rant on the internet.  I legit just screamed into a pillow (massively irritating my sleeping dog) to release some frustration.  I'd like to more calmly share some of my thoughts.

When I first read Harry Potter Hermione was a reflection of my own self.  She was smart and not the prettiest and irritated some kids, but was very well meaning.  And I loved to pretend I was her. And from what I'm reading I'm not the only one.  But this isn't about me.

This is about my kids (my students and the ones in my family).  Guess what these kids read and see?  Books and movies and tv shows with white kids and white people doing stuff and saving the world usually only with peripheral characters of another race.  When my niece dressed up as Hermione for Halloween she wouldn't say "I'm Hermione."  She said "I guess I'm black Hermione."

My students are from Mexico, El Salvador, Bangladesh, Pakistan, Palestine, Peru, Ghana, Sierra Leone, India, the Philippines, and many many other places.  And most of them aren't white.  And out of six little kids in my own family only one is white.  These kids need to be able to more easily see reflections of themselves in the media they consume.

So let's have a black woman play Hermione and an Asian woman play Cinderella and a Native American boy play Percy Jackson and a Mexican-American lady play Ryan Gosling's next witty and independent love interest. Nothing bad will come of it.



Also massively important and tangentially related, please stop spreading this idea that Islam is by nature a hateful religion.  It's damaging in so many ways.

At FLMS

At the end of last school year I was miserable.  I was not enjoying my job.  In fact, I was failing at my job.  People would kindly (though possibly insincerely) tell me it wasn't me it was the kids, it was the parents, it was the tests, it was the environment, etc.  That didn't change the fact that several years in a row I was not effective (no matter how hard I tried).  Test results would come and I'd go into the bathroom and cry.  No doubt I worked hard, but it didn't work.  

So I sought help.  I contacted old professors.  I talked to local professionals. I read articles.  And I still didn't feel good.  I felt like I had wasted my scholarship on a career I would never be good at or enjoy again.  

Then one night I helped my brother with math.  For six hours straight.  And he was able to graduate high school on time in no small part because of that.  The weirdest part was I mostly enjoyed it (even though my brother and I don't get along very well).  

I decided to give it one more college try.  I'd get certified to teach math and find myself a job.  I'd leave the school where I loved the people, but couldn't succeed for somewhere new.  Getting certified was easy.  I'm a good tester and love math.  Harder was finding a job.  My county made it extremely difficult to get a transfer.  Then came a call for a school I'd never heard of in a county I wasn't that interested in. 

When I got there my heart dropped a little (I'm ashamed to admit).  Another mostly broken down old building.  I don't know why I have the tendency to judge a school by its cover, but I do.  I interviewed and felt pretty confident that I'd get the job.  After a few more tangles with my previous job there it was.  A job offer.  My last hope.

This is my classroom before I actually had stuff on the bulletin boards. 

And I LOVE it.  I love these kids more than perhaps any other class. (I don't know, my first class was very special).  I'm concerned about their personal worries.  I want to know what little (and big - see previous post) things are troubling them and potentially keeping them from achieving.  I feel so sad when they don't succeed.  During the weekends I think about them and hope they're happy, warm, and fed.  I'm a little worried about Christmas break because of my time away.  And I have passion for my subject! I get excited to teach things and I'm seeing eyes light up and it's wonderful.  

And some stuff still sucks like data meetings and state tests and dealing with seemingly stupid requirements from VDOE.  And my job is hard.  It's hard and tiring every single day.  But I didn't fail.  I didn't waste my scholarship.  This is not the end of my life as a teacher.  And perhaps for the first time in a VERY long time I feel like it's actually the beginning. 

Be Kind...

I've heard over and over and over, "Be kind for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle."  I mean, this is the internet.  Everyone loves to post a thoughtful inspirational quote that may or may not mean much.  This one does. I've never thought so much about it (except like hell yeah I'm fighting some battles) until this year (and especially this week).

I changed schools this year and I LOVE my new job.  It's amazing and I love the kids more maybe than I have any other group.  Middle school suits me.  But man, these kids are dealing with a lot.

These kids look forward to the days they can come to school on Saturdays because that means they get lunch that day.  One missed breakfast the other day (everyone at my school gets free breakfast) and was near tears in my class because he hadn't eaten since the snack he got at the after school program the previous day.  And then today I called a child to the hall to ask him why he hadn't come to after school math help.  I said "____, what happened to you yesterday afternoon?" And the kid fell apart.  I spent most of the period in the hall letting him talk while I listened.  And his stuff is TOO much.  This kid is 12 and has dealt with more in his life than you or I could imagine.

And so I think of that quote.  And I want to remember it before I fuss because a homework assignment is missing or worry that maybe one kid or another might not pass the end of year test.  Because these kids are fighting insanely hard battles.  And honestly, who cares about math homework when you have so much more at stake.

Anxiety Sucks

I have anxiety.  I'm pretty sure I've mentioned that before and most people I know are aware.  I mean, I just tweeted something about being anxious two nights ago.  Anyway, I'm getting really sick of it, but it's just getting worse.  It's all the rage for celebrities to be honest about real life struggles so I thought I'd add a real life person with a real life struggle to the mix.

I don't particularly remember dealing with extensive anxiety when I was a child.  Sure I was always a worrier and would feel guilty about stuff that didn't make sense (like leaving my cousin's shoes at the playground when I was 6 or 7).  I was a stressed and dramatic and moody teenager.  Life wasn't really easy or anything, but anxiety wasn't the boss of me.

Now my life tends to revolve around what won't make me anxious.  Here's an example of the progression.

When I was in high school I loved going to movies with my friends.  It's really one of the only things to do here and we went all the time.  In college I continued going to movies (especially the dollar theater, hooray!) and loved going to midnight premiers of movies I loved.  I didn't want to miss a single moment of these highly anticipated shows so I'd wait until just before the movie started and go to the bathroom.  So far, this all makes sense.

Something changed, though, and I started going to the bathroom at the last second before any event (basketball game, a regular movie at the dollar theater, etc) started.  I'd set a time when I was going to go so I'd be least likely to miss the beginning, but also not too soon so I wouldn't have to go to the bathroom again.

Eventually (with a few more degrees in the middle) I started feeling so worried about missing something I'd go to the bathroom three or four times between getting to a movie theater/event and the event starting.  Even during the previews I'd have to talk myself out of going again. Going to the bathroom seemed so stupid and  like a waste of whatever money I'd spent.  Plus then you have to crawl across people and in other ways disturb their experience.

Now the worry and stress leading up to an actual movie has become so frustrating I don't want to go anymore.  If someone invites me I dread going and can't wait for the date to pass.  Even things I really want to see I wait for DVD or redbox.  I have a $25 movie theater gift card that's been sitting around since Christmas so I can't even claim it's about the money.  I think it would be fun to go skydiving, but as soon as that idea came to me I could only think about what if I felt like I had to pee once I was suited up or in the plane or whatever.  So instead I don't go and I don't watch and I don't plan to skydive.

Well, this post got way longer than I intended it to be and I don't have a great way to wrap it up, but I wanted to explain a little bit about how I think.

The end.

Social Media

I was laying down trying to fall asleep with my post holiday/every day anxiety running through my  head last night and I was thinking about social media.  I like social media.  I like to get on facebook and twitter.  I've even been considering instagram (heaven help me).  But there are just so many things that you can't post anymore without being judged or openly hated and it's stressful!

- Don't post too many details of your life (over-sharing).

- No posts about how you're feeling without details (attention seeking).

- No online quiz results.

- Don't post about the weather in your area that other people are probably posting about.

- Definitely no writing about the sheer volume of people posting about the weather.

- Avoid too many pictures of your kids.

- Or pets.

- Pop song lyrics are out.

- Stay away from slang words people might consider annoying (like hubby or preggo).

- Don't ever type something political.

- If at least two of your friends have already posted a video/article don't post it.

- No commenting on significant world news/events/results of sporting events (woo many people are already doing that too).

- Never play facebook games.  They'll secretly post and request and notify for you.

- Don't link your twitter and facebook so they say the exact same thing.

- Oh, I forgot.  If you have kids don't post stories/anecdotes about things they said or did.

- Sonogram pictures are out.

- No fashion blog type pictures either.

- If other people are posting about a popular movie/song/show don't bother posting anything about it because you're just adding to the "noise" in people's feeds.

That list is certainly not exhaustive.  And truly some of these things drive me crazy.  Being the imperfect person that I am (I know, shocking) I've even complained about several (both online and in real life).  But what's the point?  To shame people into sharing only the parts of their lives we want to hear about or think they should share?  I don't know.  It seems to go against the purpose of social media and if you don't want to know those things about someone shouldn't you just unfriend/unfollow/block/hide posts from them?

Also, typing/sharing this may make me a hypocrite.  I haven't yet decided, but see my note about being imperfect above.

Baby Alice

First things first: Alice Rosalie is not named after Twilight characters.  My sister has never read the books and says she maybe saw the movie once, but can't remember.

Also, I was going to put the pictures all at the end of the story as a prize for finishing then I realized the text was quite long and needed breaking up.

On April 2nd everyone knew Alice was coming soon.  I kept telling Heather that she had to wait until April at least because Gabe's birthday is in March and we're really close to filling all the months.  So I was checking my phone any chance I got to see if there was any news.  When the kids were gone to specials I saw Mom had texted saying to call her.  Turns out Heather was in labor!  Apparently she had actually been in labor all night (though her contractions weren't regular) and was already dilated 6cm by the time she got to the hospital.

I got super excited and bounced all over the school building checking with the other third grade teachers to see if they'd let me late bus kids wait in their rooms so I could go check on Heather (and give Billy a chance to eat or whatever).  They all agreed easily and by 3:41 I was out the door and on the way to the hospital.

I grabbed some chicken for Billy from KFC then stress ate biscuits all the way there (I don't do well at traffic lights when I want to be somewhere).

Alice and me a few hours after she was born.

When I got to her room Heather was almost finished her IV antibiotics (she has group b strep or something so they tried to get those into her really quickly so the baby would be healthy -- I don't know much about this part except they were worried the baby would try to come before they could finish the meds).  Right after that they started the Pitocin.  We had been chatting nicely, but she got really tired and I just hung around grading papers and distracting her (Billy was in the corner reading).

At one point I left the room for a second so they could check her and break her water.  Then over the course of the next little while the nurse kept coming back in and moving the baby around and more and more water kept coming (the doctors already knew Heather had about 6 liters of fluid which is way too much).  Then Heather started getting weirdly glassy-eyed and exhausted and said she wanted the baby to hurry up and get out.

Alice all wrapped and ready to go home the next day.

The nurse brought the doctor in and before I even consciously really thought about it I was staying in there too (this shocked me, I don't even like to watch baby story, gross), though I relocated from a chair near the foot of the bed to hiding somewhat behind the IV screen thing up near Heather's head.  Billy was, of course, there too.  They had Heather push a little and then stop for a second (she was kind of pissed about that because apparently that's super uncomfortable).  Then they let her push all the way (meanwhile she kept talking about how big the baby felt -- ouch) and out came baby.  I peeked at one point and saw the baby's hand and honest to goodness thought, "Wow, they have tiny latex gloves on her.  I wonder how they did that."  Obviously that was just the whatever it's called that's stuck all over them and for a baby to wearing tiny latex gloves when it's only half born is weird.

Alice with a giant Utah baby flower (that I secretly like in this case, |
but I think it might just be because I like Alice so much). 

When Alice came out she was kind of...floppy and blue.  The doctor and nurses were talking about how the cord was really short and how right at the last part of labor (even though she'd been checked tons of times) the cord wrapped around her neck.  The nurses took Alice to the side and Billy went with her to the other side of the room.  I held Heather's hand because she was really upset that she didn't get to hold her yet.  She kept almost crying "Is she ok?" and they just kept saying yes, but obviously something was wrong because they didn't give her to her momma.  It was kind of tense, Heather was upset, and I was taking cell phone pictures of her from my place by Heather's bed because she couldn't see her.  After a few minutes she started really crying (she had only been occasionally making noise so far) and they brought her to Heather.  And then I cried a little bit (but not too much because I'm well medicated).  The pediatrician came and checked her out and declared her to be healthy.

Alice was Heather's biggest baby at 7* pounds 14 ounces and 19 inches long.  She was born at 6:23pm (I heard them call it which was kind of cool -- just like on TV) and she's beautiful.

When Gamma (my mom) swaddled Alice and she
 looked perfect and vaguely Middle Eastern 

There were some other gross parts I witnessed during the whole birthing thing that I'm not gonna talk about here (this has been a lesson in TMI already), but it was totally worth it.  Being there when Alice (partially named for me) was born was the coolest thing I've ever done.

All dressed up with nowhere to go for Easter
(she couldn't come to the party because germs).

*Originally I posted that Alice weighed 6 pounds 14 ounces at birth.  Please pardon this mistake.

Lies TV Tells

Everyone knows (at least I hope so) that all media is full of lies.  TV especially tells people falsehoods about who and what they have to be and what is realistic.

Side note: I still love TV. A lot.

With all the lies TV tells, this is the one that irritates me the most.  I hate it and I'm tired of seeing it.

The end.

Mary Beth and Travis from Switched at Birth

Puck and Lauren Zizes from Glee

Sam and Mercedes from Glee. 

Link and Tracy from Hairspray (I'm aware that's a movie and not TV). 

Flustered

Most of the country has recently been hit by winter storm Titan.  Stafford was no exception.  We got a nice layer of ice with several inches of snow on top that's kept us out of school for three days now.  I LOVE to stay home on snow days.  My dad likes to go have an adventure and gets all stir crazy.  I think a snow day is a wonderful ready made excuse to not have to interact with other humans.

Anyway, today I ventured out to take my brother to pick up the truck.  The roads were a huge mess, but our driveway had been mostly cleared.  I got him where he needed to be without too much sliding in my tiny car then headed home.  Shockingly I made it up the patchily cleared (and very steep) driveway on the first try.

I stopped in Mom and Dad's house to steal a leftover egg roll and start a load of laundry.  When I walked past the window to go home something seemed off.  I backed up and looked out and...my car was at the bottom of the driveway.

I know this doesn't seem like a big deal, but I was very flustered!  Luckily there was a pile of snow by the trash bins which stopped the car from going in the road or the ditch, but it's just kind of shocking for your car to not stay where you parked it.  I moved it back up the driveway and parked it on the flat part at the top this time and there it's stayed.

And now you know how boring my life is.

Hermione

Remember how earlier this week everyone started having a fit because of JKR trolling Harry Potter fans?  I've decided to share my opinion.  Mostly it's this: I don't care.



I like Hermione with Ron and her ability to be just friends with Harry.  I do find it significant that JK said she was clinging to the plot she first imagined and I think that kind of original imagining has some power and significance.  But I've never gotten involved in a shipping war because it doesn't matter.  Hermione is bad ass!  She's so smart (I sometimes get jealous which is embarrassing) and great at magic and an awesome planner and she reads a thousand books and has awesome friends.  She's compassionate and thoughtful and brave.  So no.  I don't care who her boyfriend is.

We Don't Go to School

Guess how many days I taught in January.  Go ahead, I'll wait....


(Random dogs courtesy of the internet). 

...just like Bruce Willis in that hugging commercial yesterday...


(What even is the internet.)

The answer is 13.  Or maybe 12.  Now I can't remember but it wasn't very many.  Basically it will snow one inch and then we won't go to school and then we will have a two hour delay then a day of school then four days off etc.  I think we might still be in school on the 4th of July.

You know what's cool though?  This weekend my dad got his hearing aids.  He's been shooting his whole life and listening to his music too loud and all that business.  And now he can hear Tori.  Tori is extremely quiet and he's needed a translator (one of the other adults or kids) to tell him what she says.  And now he can hear her.  Isn't that touching?  He also says he can hear how his own voice sounds for the first time in many years.  I teared up right in the middle of my pizza.



The end.

School Whining and Judy Clocks

Just over three weeks ago the copier broke at school.  It took them almost two week to fix it.  Meanwhile we were encouraged to "think digitally" and pay for our own copies at Staples.  When they finally fixed the copier it broke again a day and a half later (not an exaggeration).  They fixed that after one day, but then we weren't allowed to print anything except for report cards for another four days.  Grrr.

Also this morning this was as functional as my computer got.  It actually ended up getting worse.  As someone who depends on their smartboard and really likes to stay caught up with her email I was kind of distressed.

Also it's going to be a few days before they're able to start fixing it (whatever the problem is) so I have to rewrite my sub plans that I thought I was being so awesome by making this weekend. 

Ok, the whining part is over.  Now I want to talk a second about how weird and nerdy I am and Judy clocks.  You know these ones?

                                             

I'm pretty every elementary school kid in the history of America has used these when they were learning to tell time.  My students have started playing with them during class breaks, recess, and while they're waiting for the bus.  They often play a game that involves winding the clock either forward or backward to time travel.  I started thinking about this game more than I should because my mind is strange.  Then I wondered, what if Judy clocks really could cause time travel? 

Suppose every time a kid turned a Judy clock forward or backward time moved forward or backward without anyone's knowledge (including the child's).  The backward motion wouldn't repeat as they got to the same moment again (meaning that if a kid wound the clock backwards the world wouldn't be eternally stuck in a loop from however far back the kid wound the clock to the clock winding -- does that make sense?).  Anyway, supposing that rule was the case do you think overall in the history of Judy clocks we would have a net time travel into the future or into the past?  

Why has this been on my mind frequently for the past four or so days? 

Lonely

I'm a lonely person.  I have been for years, but now is a particularly hard time.

It's not popular to talk about these kinds of things on the internet.  People see it as begging for attention or something else inherently negative.  I don't think we need to think of it that way.  Why aren't all human emotions valid?

Sure, it's more fun to read about someone's awesome party or hilarious mishap.  But other types of posts acceptable as well.  Serious in all forms.  In fact, those are usually the posts I prefer to read -- people's honest opinions or reasonings on life or admission of troubles.  It makes it easier to connect to those people and see them as human.  

So here I am.  I'm a lonely human.  Just thought I'd let you know. 

The Cheese Sandwich Kids

Check out this extremely unappetizing cheese sandwich.



This is a picture from a stranger on the internet, but it looks almost identical to what the cheese sandwich kids get to have for lunch.

So here's the deal.  At my school if kids don't bring lunch money they can charge their lunch.  But if they owe too much their lunch gets taken away and they get a cold cheese sandwich very similar to the one pictured above (but usually on a skinny bun because childhood obesity) and milk.  Last year I had a kid whose mom didn't send him lunch money often so I'd occasionally put money in his account (secretly).  Because getting your lunch taken away in front of everyone after you've already filled your tray is mortifying.

This year one of my students wrote in his journal that the worst part of school was when you have to get a cheese sandwich at lunch.  And then it happened to him the other day because he owed $9 or so in charged lunches.  And he wouldn't look at or talk to anyone for the rest of the day. I gave him an extra apple and cheese stick that I had, but the whole situation was awful.

My mom and sister won't let me talk to them about this because it's heartbreaking.  So I'm coming to the internet.  What do I do (or what is the solution) to the problem of the cheese sandwich kids?  Do I throw money in the lunch accounts when I know they're getting low?  I stopped doing it last year after I was out about $60.  Or do I just ignore it?  Should the cafeteria just suck it up and let them charge indefinitely? Or what?

I know the theory is that if they get a cheese sandwich then they'll finally remember to tell their parents, but that usually doesn't work.  Is it really the kid's fault?  I really do want to know what you think.

Praying

Did you ever play this game when you were a kid?  The commercial made it seem like it would be the best thing in the whole entire earth. 

  

My cousin had it and we played a few times.  I'm still not very sure how many "levels" there were or what the point was because it was insanely frustrating.  Pikachu rarely actually understood what you told it to do and then you just threw the microphone because you had plenty of time to gather the ingredients for the soup, but the dumb thing couldn't understand what you were saying.  

Anyway, the actual play screen looked like this. 

See that little guy with the bubble in the bottom right corner?  The bubble came up when you pressed and held the button to talk to Pikachu.  Press button, speak into microphone, release button, bubble flies over and tells Pikachu what you said (if I remember correctly).  Also if you held the button down too long the bubble would eventually burst.  

Well, pretty much every time I pray I have this image in my head.  I'm aware it's weird.  I think I've only mentioned this to anyone one time (and that may be an imagined conversation, I'm not sure).  Press button (Dear Heavenly Father), bubble forms as you speak/think your prayer, release button (amen), bubble floats off for your prayer to be heard.  And if you fall asleep in the middle of your prayer or get distracted because you are exhausted then the bubble bursts and the prayer doesn't work and you have to start over. 

The end.

P.S. I know that's not how prayer actually works. 

Buffy and Edward (I hate myself for this post)

As the title suggests, I hate myself for writing this post.  But it won't get out of my head so here it comes.

Over the weekend SyFy had a Buffy marathon (and it was a kick-ass marathon with all your favorite and most important episodes including "Hush" and "Once More With Feeling" and "Becoming" (parts 1 and 2), etc.).  Naturally I recorded everything I could (except for when a storm knocked out the directv for a few hours) and have been watching over the past few days.

And I couldn't help but think about this thing that was popular on the internet a few years ago.

And I just don't think it's right.  Buffy has a history of being lenient towards vampires with good intentions (like...Angel? he had a soul) even when they were actually kind of evil, but harmless (think our neutered friend from later seasons who I won't  name because I know Megan is currently watching the series).  That vampire didn't even have a soul, but couldn't hurt humans so Buffy allowed it (intentional gender neutral pronoun) to live.  

Anyway, if this was all real Buffy totally wouldn't kill Edward, literary quality aside.  She tries to do what's right and let live those things that aren't a threat to human beings.

And that is all. 

Like I said, this is embarrassing to write. Feel free to silently mock me. 

P.S. Buffy + Angel forever

Racism is a Sad Reality

Racism is a hot topic right now.  From the mess happening on Big Brother 15 to the Zimmerman trial.  The discussion is everywhere.  I don't want to talk about either of those things.  I want to talk about the reality of racism in every day life.

This is my dad.

He's a nice enough guy and a professional, but he's kind of scary looking if you don't know him.  He has the beard and his eyes don't open equally (Bell's Palsy).  He's large and when he rides his motorcycle he usually wears a leather vest.  

Once upon a time Dad was on his motorcycle going about 20 over in front of a school.  He got stopped and he was carrying a loaded pistol in his pocket and didn't have his concealed carry permit with him.  After asking him about his gun and why he was going so fast the officer gave him a warning and let him go. 

This is my brother-in-law Billy.

Tall, thin (but strong), well-groomed black man.  This outfit is as casual as he gets.  No kidding, Billy is FANCY.  

Nearly every time Billy gets stopped by a traffic cop they ask him to get out of the car.  Now, he's very careful.  He turns off his car, puts his keys on the dashboard and hands on the wheel.  He asks permission before reaching for his registration and explains exactly where his license is before taking his wallet from his pocket. 

Once in college he was handcuffed and held on the hood of a car (he still has some scarring from the burns) until the ran his ID and realized who he was. 

Now tell me racism isn't real.  Tell me these discussions are overblown.  No.  It's not ok that you're racist against a certain group because of where you're from.  It's not ok to use a racial slur just because no one from the group it refers to is present.  

I want to make it clear that I'm not saying we have to be ultra PC all the time.  I told my students that my brother-in-law was black and they told me to stop being racist.  That's not racism and that level of sensitivity needs to be eliminated, but this is a real thing that real people are dealing with daily.  And it's not fair. 

Reaction to Reactions on DOMA Decision

With the Supreme Court's ruling on DOMA and Prop 8, there has been a lot of interesting kick back on my facebook and twitter feeds.  I certainly welcome the opinions of everyone and support their right to express them.  However, one frequent comment bothered me and I wanted to respond to it.  I chose this forum because I don't want to get into an argument with anyone.  

Several comments and retweets I've seen have lamented the fact that the courts in California (alternately the governor of California? I'm admittedly not super well-researched so I'm not sure which is accurate though I know the courts had at least something to do with it) had the power to overrule what the people made law via popular vote.  In my view that's a necessary part of government (that should be used on occasion only when absolutely necessary).  Majority rule minority right.  That's what this is all about.  So it didn't matter if Fauquier County, VA didn't want to integrate schools in 1970 right before my dad started kindergarten.  There wasn't a choice, even though the majority there was opposed to the integration.  The government said that you can't discriminate and separate but equal is not a thing (which I find somewhat relevant to this case as well).  People were kicking and screaming and protesting, but the minority vote has rights just like the rest and integration happened.  In my mind this is very similar (though I do completely support the right of all people (particularly those with religious reasons) to disagree with the decision).  

I fully expect Stefanie to correct me if my understanding of the legality of any of this is flawed. 

Also, if you google "supreme court gay marriage" (I was trying to find a picture) there's a cool rainbow around the search box.

Some Things

The following is a random collection of things I've been wanting(ish) to blog about.

-We had two and a half snow days this week and it was kick ass.  Also I was sick on Tuesday and took a half day (the first half of the day almost killed me or made me whiny at least).

-I have hilarious friends.  Only I have them exclusively not in a state I'm in so that's a cool story.

- I turned 24.  It was my golden birthday.

-The PTO at my school is awesome.  Monthly they bring around a treat cart with 8-15 different types of snacks to the teachers.  They stop by each classroom at least twice a day.  For February I tried the pretzel brownie, strawberry cheesecake bite, strawberry lemonade, and some other stuff I shouldn't have eaten. (Note that I don't usually eat all of it because something will turn out to be something I don't love or whatever.  Also, I don't have to justify myself to you.)

-The kindergarteners at school all made cutouts of George Washington and Abraham Lincoln for President's Day.  Every single one is black.  I love black Santa and all, but those presidents were definitely white.  I think it was a teacher error in the choosing of the construction paper, but it's hilarious.

-My dog got fixed and I had a total meltdown and figured she would never be the same and love me again.  I'm irrational inside my mind.

My life is boring.  It's so boring that I'm bored blogging about it.

The Best Thing I Found on the Internet Today