My Guide To Hiking

Over the last week I've been hiking a few times up rock canyon, and I've learned some things.

Note: the pictures below aren't in order and were taken over Friday and Saturday hiking trips.

Starting your Saturday hike with about a teaspoon of grit and gravel in your shoes is not ok.  You will feel it. Also your socks will get holes.  

Stop and rock hop in the stream whenever you want (just don't get too far from the path because then your mom might get mad). 

Do everything you can to make it to the natural water fountains.  It is the best water on the earth.  To get here, though, you have to man up and stop getting passed by the old man taking an early Saturday morning hike.  That's just embarrassing. (I would pass him, then have to take a break then he would pass me while I was breaking.  Finally I decided to man up, push through the pain, and get far enough past him that it wouldn't happen). 

Hiking on Saturday is just better.  Because on other days you still have life to get back to and things to do, but if you're hiking at 7:30 am on Saturday you can go for three hours and that's fine. 

Make friends with as many dogs as you can. 

Take pictures at the bottom on your shorter hike so you can tell your mom that you got into the grey rocks.  Proceed to at least triple your distance the following day. 

Even though people say not to, realize the benefits of hiking alone: no one will try to talk to you while you're barely able to breathe, you can take a break or go as slow as you want, and you get to pick the playlist. 

Get to the part where the path narrows and there's not as many people. 

Don't pick leaves just because you want to smell them.  They might be poison ivy or poison oak (anybody know if these are poison ivy or oak?).

Catch the sun. 

When you decide to go off the path on Friday so you can get a good picture for your mom, don't tell her.  If the giant rock you're standing on suddenly starts sliding down the mountain just as you were about to go further off the path for a good view, it's time to head back down. 

Don't hike in the shoes you melted the soles off last time you went camping.  You can feel all the rocks. 

Hike at least until you want to keep going and can't bear the idea of turning around.  Only turn around when the path starts splitting too many times and you're afraid you'll get lost.  Also when you get to campsites that got accessed some other way and there are toilets and everything, just give up and turn around because you might feel weird. 

When you see the view of the valley that shows how far you've really come, stop and take a picture because your view will disappear in the trees quite soon. 

If you hike in the morning wear a sweatshirt because it's freaking cold.  Don't take it off when you turn around to go down because there's still not enough sun to give you a tan. 

Spend some time trying to decide if you prefer the burn of hiking in the hot or the freeze of the morning.  Decide you love both. 

Hope that it'll get warm enough in the summer that you can walk in the creek up the mountain because the water looks so inviting. 

Go here.  Refuse to talk about it later, but insist on keeping the picture. 

Post a long blog post so your mom can see all your pictures and realize that you're not dead. 

Try turning your music off on the way back down the mountain.  It's a nice change. And let's be real, there's no way you're getting up there without your music.  You need the motivation. 

Post another picture of the place you're not talking about.  Realize you're obsessed with water pictures.  

Stop near the bottom for a photo of a nice cloud and a view you think your dad will like. Also wish that you could press save on your hike like you do on video games so you don't have to start again at the boring part next time.  

Just generally have a wonderful time and hope you have time and motivation to keep going next week.  

What Men Want

Here's a list of qualities men want in a girl:

• good taste
• obedient
• calm
• fast workers
• good family
• tiny waist
• can produce children (preferably sons)
• soft (what does this even mean?)
• pale
• nice eyes
• adoring of the man's strength
• good cook
• think the guy is perfect

Definitely not on the list:

• smart
• outspoken

Do you know where I got this list?  Believe it or not it wasn't an Elder's Quorum.
I say that mostly in jest, but really I've heard guys say things quite similar to this.

And to be fair, I've heard girls say things at least this shallow.  This isn't all on men. 

Mothers Day

I'm going to join the droves of other people and post about Mothers Day.  And you know what?  You can't do anything about it because this is my blog and you're not my real mom.  Also, as a side note, I keep switching between Mother's Day and Mothers Day because I like both.

People I want to thank this Mother's Day.

Misti O'Neal Carbone for being a real life Loreli Gilmore.

Erma O'Neal for being the sweetest grandmother in the world.

Alice Budd for letting me share a birthday (and a name), for giving me good advice, and for hours and hours of card playing.

Katie Facemire Snead for showing me a different way when I was in high school.

Robin Stokes for giving me a hug every time you saw me even when I didn't want anyone to speak to me.

Sister Thatcher for being an inspiration and a guide in my growing up years.  Ditto to Joyce Wilson.

Christina Stommel for asking me if my oil was changed, for driving me places when I needed a ride, for being a beautiful example, for seeking out adventure, and for being a mother figure when I missed mine so badly.

Margaret Wright for giving me the biggest hug in the world before you even knew me freshman year because I missed my own mom so badly.

Heather Wooten for taking care of me when Mom couldn't and devoting every single ounce of herself to her children.

Laurel Budd for telling me that everything is gonna be alright, be strong, believe.  And for crying with me when everything was the worst.

And finally to my own wonderful mother.  She is an inspiration and an amazing human.  I love my momma more than anyone else in the world at this point.  I'm not exaggerating or being silly when I tell you she is my best friend.  She wasn't when I was a kid (because I don't think that's how good parenting works) but now I'd rather talk to her than anyone else most days.  I tell her about boys and friends and we love to shop together (grocery shop or idea shop at Ikea for the most part).  For my birthday she surprised me in my classroom.  It was a beautiful thing and that week was awesome.  When I fought with my friends that week and sobbed for hours she cuddled me and bought me a birthday cake anyway, which we ate almost alone.  For the past several months she's listened to me cry almost every day when my life was SO hard (stop judging me right now, it's been a really bad several months).  She loves my students and lets them call her Momma Budd.  When I was in high school she wrote me a letter and told me how much she loved being a mother and the one greatest regrets of her life was that she wasn't able to stay home with us all the time.  I have no resentment toward her for that because she was/is an amazing mother despite sacrificing her own sleep and time to work overnight shifts picking rocks out of jeans. I could go on for pages about my mother and how wonderful she is, but I won't.  I'll just end by saying, I love you Mom.

Leave No Man Behind

Someone I know tweeted this quote the other day.

No one can give you courage.  No one can thicken your skin.  I will not fail so you can be comfortable.  I will not lose because you can't win.

I'm not going to put who wrote it or who tweeted it because I think both should be embarrassed by it.  This quote is completely and exactly the opposite of motivational.  Also I think it's total bull shit.

Most of the people in this area are extremely religious.  What would Jesus say about this quote?  Because to me this quote says, "Man up and get over yourself because I can't take any time out of stepping on other people during my journey to the top to help my fellow man."

Let's turn our thoughts for a moment to the US military.  When I think abstractly of "getting shit done" I think of the military because they do.  And what is their unofficial motto thing that is in all the cheesy action movies?  Leave no man behind.  Not I won't lose because you can't win, LEAVE NO MAN BEHIND.  Because that's what classy people do.  Because that's what Christ-like people do.  Because that's what anyone who gives a damn about other people in the least does.

So yes.  I'm a fan of the phrase man up.  Sometimes you need to suck it up and move on.  But sometimes you are physically, mentally, and emotionally incapable of taking even one more step on your own and if only someone would help you just a tiny bit you could get up and run towards success with that person.  And then you can both win.  And you will both be better people.  And no one fails.  Is my point coming across?  If I win you don't lose and if you win I don't have to.  We can both win together.

Unless you're an asshole.