I like the One Direction song What Makes You Beautiful. It's been on the radio quite a bit recently. Yesterday I was driving home from a hike and I heard James Blunt's You're Beautiful. I know the whole world hates that song, but I like it. These songs made me think of a discussion I had with someone recently (probably Megan) about how it would be miserable to be in a romantic relationship where the person didn't find you more than just averagely attractive. Even if you boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife honestly loved you it would be kind of terrible to know they only found you averagely attractive.
My concern with this idea probably goes back to my childhood. One of my parents' "songs" is Thunder Road by Bruce Springsteen. It's a good song, but it has the line "You ain't a beauty but, hey, you're alright." As a very young child I thought that meant that my dad didn't think my mom was particularly beautiful. I was a weird kid. Lots of issues.
Do you see my two jumbled paragraphs of avoiding the point of this post? I guess I'm more ashamed of it than I even realized. Fine, here we go.
More than I want someone to love me or to want to date me or to have a crush on me or whatever, I want someone to honestly look at me some day and tell me I'm beautiful. There. I said it. And it's weird and not something you tell people or blog about. My mom tells me I look great sometimes. Megan tells me my hair looks good. People say that oh, that skirt is awesome. For me, though, there's some sort of power in that word beautiful. I know that it's not something that just gets thrown around because it is so strong. Nobody's casual friend is going to come in and say "Hey, you look really beautiful today" because that has the potential to create a severely uncomfortable situation (probably). Someday, though, sometime I want to be beautiful. I want someone to look at me and think that and to say it to me.
Such an awkward post.
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