Call Me, Maybe

Parts of this post are probably going to be embarrassing, but I'm still posting it.  Because that's how life is.

A few weeks ago (probably four) Megan and I decided to go to institute.  What was so good to lure us there on a Thursday night?  Carrabba's was catering.  Nom.  Naturally approximately 494,000 people showed up so we were forced to watch the meeting on a television in one of the Relief Society rooms.  Written on the chalkboard were the lyrics to Call Me Maybe with a phone number. Naturally, because I am exceedingly silly and witty, I texted the number "Hey, Maybe."  (Get it?  Really, it's not that funny but it was more interesting than what was going on at institute).

Is she wearing tights or are her legs that pale?

The person on the other end was confused and thought I had the wrong number so I explained that a friend had probably written his/her number on the board with the lyrics and I was a stranger texting.  My new found text friend immediately knew the culprit and chuckled a little.  I found out this stranger's name was Chris and he lived near the chapel, but not in my stake (oh Provo, you crazy place).  

Over the next few days I heard from Chris (via text) a couple of times to tell me that two other people (both dudes) had texted him and our small talk turned into get to know you talk.  We started trying to find someone we both knew or a connection we had, but it proved nearly impossible.  When I found out Chris was a math grad student I asked if he knew my home teacher (who is a math grad student as well).  He didn't, but I realized my mistake a second too late.  Here comes the embarrassing part.  I had given a first and last name of someone I know and am facebook friends with.  And my name is unique.  Now Chris could probably easily find me and then he'd see what I look like and our text flirting would cease and it was nice to flirt with a boy because that doesn't happen in my life.  Listen, I know I'm awkward and weird and that I shouldn't be so insecure, but I am.  I also realize that boys don't do facebook stalking quite the same way as girls do (or as frequently).  

After running across my apartment screaming "Oh shit! Oh shit! Oh shit!" Megan tried to console me, but that didn't work out so well.  So, we started trying to facebook stalk Chris instead.  Chris had mentioned the name of a friend with a unique spelling, so we started with that friend and then looked for friends of that person named Chris (see, girls are great at this).  Megan found one she decided was the guy: a suave looking ginger-kid with a profile picture taken by a photographer friend.  

As that night went on and Chris and I were still unsuccessful in our attempt to find a mutual acquaintance, he suggested becoming facebook friends.  I freaked out further and under Megan's direction changed my profile picture to something more attractive and less silly.  Turns out that the Chris Megan found was the Chris I had been talking to. 

To my truthful surprise, communication did not end once we became facebook friends.  I met Chris at his ward's softball game later that week and he was friendly and handsome.  Then I went all insecure as the game ended and Megan and I left.  I said something about "Well, I hope to hear from you again" and he acted like it was the most absurd thing anyone had ever said. 

This seems stupid, right?  To be that insecure about yourself that meeting someone in person makes you think they will stop communicating with you?  It's real life.  I'm not exaggerating.  

That weekend Chris and I went to Red Lobster and watched what is probably the most brilliant show on television, Duck Dynasty.  Seriously, that show is a gem.  

After writing this post I was getting a lot of unexpected negative feedback that created drama and further heartbreak in my life.  It was a painful situation.  Chris saw the post and commented that he liked it and that it showed that I was not "fluffy" as some ElEd folks tend to be.  It was a nice respite from all the awfulness.   

This post is getting excessively long so I'll try to sum up the rest quickly.  I found Chris charming and attractive.  He didn't hate me.  We hung out a few more times.  At one point he helped Megan study while I tutored her sister and it was really fun for some reason.  Chris has an amazing ward and fantastic friends that I got to meet at a barbecue and softball game (which was freezing cold despite the fact that it is now the summer).  I don't think I've ever met a more friendly and welcoming group of people.  Chris is a great (and inordinately fun) person.  So there it is.  My fairly embarrassing, but an interesting to tell the blogging world story.  Maybe it seems that I was placing too much hope? pressure? something on this situation.  Not so.  It was just awesome to go on an actual date, to flirt with some guy as not a joke, and to have a fun time.  And in the end? I'm exceedingly lucky because I got a friend out of the situation.  

A Collection of Random Thoughts

My life is insanely busy these days.  I am teaching and it is exhausting and rewarding and the best thing ever (aside from Harry Potter and BYU sports).

Something that is absolutely disgusting that you might not think about: steaming football players.  Please allow me to explain.  The last two home games have been exceedingly cold.  They have the heaters set up on the sidelines and all the fans are wearing four thousand layers (which gives you negative chest points).  Then one of the linemen comes off the field and removes his helmet, and you see more than his breath.  You see steam coming off of his head and neck and it is so gross.  Without seeing it, it's hard to understand how disgusting it actually is. Ok, I'll stop now.

Listen, I know you'll think I'm crazy but I can recognize Jimmer based on the way he moves his body.  Jimmer hangs out on the field during the football games and during the last few games he's been hidden under various layers of clothes and hats.  Usually I just look for him standing near Whitney before the game, but then there's so many people to watch (Andrew Rich, Riley Nelson, etc etc) and I lose sight of him among all the other people dressed in navy and gray.  Except that I can find Jimmer.  I've spent so much time watching Jimmer play and be on the sidelines and interviews and stuff, that I can tell it's him just by the way he moves his head and body.  Go ahead and laugh at my insanity, but it's the truth.

I've added something to the mental pseudo-list I have about future boyfriends/spouse.  It is important that the person knows how to use a well placed swear.  Some people swear gratuitously (I think I might be one of them) and some people don't swear at all (which I respect, but I think it might be a little up-tight).  However, the ability to confidently use a swear word on appropriate occasions is something I find attractive in a man.  Now judge me.

I guess I should just quit blogging while I'm not even really ahead, but before I get further behind.

My Family (again)

I now present to you almost word for word a conversation I had with my sister Heather on the phone this morning.

Me: Hello?
Heather: Come to my house and marry this boy!
Me: Um...what? What boy?
Heather: I just got a new neighbor and Sister Cannon, her brother came to visit and he's in the backyard fixing our air conditioner. Come and marry him quick before he leaves!
Me: Uh...no.
Heather: Come on.  Just come over here quick and bring a pie.
Me: I'm not going to do that.
Heather: Fine. Just don't say I never tried.
Me: I'll never say that.
Heather: Are you sure you won't come and marry him?
Me: I'm sure.
Heather: Fine, bye.

That was it.  That was the whole conversation.

Inappropriate

This kid is four years younger than me AND acts in a moderately dumb tv show.  This attraction is inappropriate. 

Also, this picture is mediocre. 

Cookie Girl

Cookie girls, oh cookie girls.
Definition: girls that deliver cookies (or other baked goods) to guys in hopes for increased attention.

Location: usually areas with a high density Mormon population.

Do you know any cookie girls? Have you ever been a cookie girl? What's have you given as a cookie girl? I actually want answers to this if you're willing. Details are awesome, but not required.

My Boys

All weekend (at least since Friday night's amazing basketball game) I've been mentally preparing a blog post about "my boys," namely Jimmer, Jackson, Noah, Jake Heaps, Luke Ashworth, JJ, and so on. Then came last night.

We've been having a competition in my ward between the guys and the girls. The girls won by a hair so the guys had to serve us dinner - that was the deal. They put this beautiful dinner together and did it up right. Every single girl in the ward (all those that came anyway) was treated like a queen.

The boys who decided to valet park our cars, those are my boys.

The boys who escorted each and every girl to her seat on an arm, those are my boys.

The boys who slid in chairs and took our coats, those are my boys.

The boys who cooked and served a delicious meal, who gave personalized invitations complete with live music, who wrote beautiful letters of appreciation and gratitude for each girl individually, who planned the whole outstanding event...

Those are my boys.

I'm hoping to be able to get a picture from last night and post it here. Watch for it.

Don't worry sports guys, I still love you too and you did a bang up job this weekend and it was absolutely awesome.

Dating Panel (part 2)

The list continues

41. They add to the conversation and just try to have a good time.

42. They don’t feel awkward to tell you if they’d rather never see you again.

43. If a guy buys dinner, say thanks, once. Gratitude is great but we’re not so slow that it needs to be repeated five to ten times.

44. I like it when girls: are honest, can hold conversations without dominating it, allow me to show chivalry, smile, let me spoil them.

45. I like it when… the girl greatly contributes to the conversation but does not dominate it. The weight should be shared equally and it should not be up to the guy to start all conversations. Vice a Versa.

46. I like it when my date sends clear signals. If she is interested, she should be engaging, smile, sit close, etc. If she is not interested she should be friendly, but distant. Avoid physical contact, sit farther away, and talk with other ones as well as her date.

47. I like it when girls try to be actively involved in the conversation.

48. When a girl tries to have fun, and participate, no matter what the activity is. (Unless its morally wrong.)

49. Girls are awesome on dates when: They talk, and help their date talk as well.

50. They say thank you for small things

51. They smile

52. They want to be there. If you don’t, please have the guts to graciously decline.

53. Be cheerful, confident, upbeat. Otherwise it is kind of awkward and makes the guy feel like he has to entertain.

54. Thank you texts afterwards or just a sincere Thank you goes a long way.

55. Don’t order the most expensive thing or the cheapest. Its okay to get a box.

56. Don’t text! Even if you’re in a relationship. He is trying to do something nice for you so pay attention.

57. Don’t play games. Be honest and open. I know its hard but I respect girls a lot more who can say “I’m not interested” than girls who blow others off. Remember there are other guys watching how you treat their friends, roommates, etc.

58. When the girl had a good time I she makes that known sometime after the date.

59. When the girl lets the boy get the door for her.

60. When the girl tries to have fun.

61. I appreciate it when girls are open about whether or not they enjoyed the date and if they would like a second.

62. Show up – or CALL if there is a problem.

63. Relax – a first date is not a marriage proposition.

64. Be yourself, not what you think we want.

65. Let us open the doors.

66. Saying Thank You, not just at the end.

67. If you’re going to order food, eat it.

68. If you had a great time and would like to go again, let us know.

69. If you don’t see potential in the future, don’t say you had a great time, or that you want to do something later.

70. We are buying your time, so please give it to us for an hour or two.